So in Conclusion.....

So I ended up talking everything out. Of course there is good explanation. It was exactly how I thought. He was just posing for a picture. Unfortunately the girl who took it didn't post the rest of them. He was so apologetic. We discussed things. I closed with what I thought was the perfect statement. I said" I don't want to come across as the girlfriend who freaks about everything but, just mind your actions. I feel better since we actually talked about things. Previous relationships, I would make myself sick just thinking about what the other person would say. "You're overreacting! What are you talking about? you're psycho. It doesn't look bad, blah blah blah." I use to run every scenario through my mind to prepare myself for the worst. With Jack, it's something I need to get over. He is not like that in the least. I have to remember he is not like the rest. He doesn't fly off the handle as quickly. He listens to what i have to say.

Minus this incident, this relationship has been one of the best. I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe this might be something long term. I am not one for dating. It's so awkward and you never know if you're saying or doing the right thing. I just prefer to step out of the market. Just because your off doesn't mean you can't be a sassy independent. You had to know at some point I was going to use that in a blog. :)

Interesting....To Say the Least....

Well I broke down and decided to be exclusive with the younging and things are great until this morning. I'm not sure how to feel about this yet. I feel like I want to pounce him on this but yet what if it was innocent and I'm just being stupid.
Well my new found boyfriend went out with some friends, of course I couldn't go. I had rehearsal and besides it was far away. This morning I woke up feeling so wanted when I received his text message from last night saying he wished I was there. It felt good for once to have someone I'm seeing think about me when I would think they were too busy. Then I got on facebook this morning and came across a picture taken last night of him with some strange girl in his lap. Hmm... What would you do? Of course I had to post the picture. Any thoughts? My first reaction was, "WTF," but then I thought maybe there is an explanation.

Now I have only known the guy since June. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but my bottom line is, when I'm with someone, I am aware of my actions. I think with the other person in mind. Now having said that, I'm freaking out in my mind because what if he is one of these guys who think it's appropriate to allow women to hang on them because they know who they are coming home to. I just don't care for that in the least. Have respect for your partner and don't put yourself in that situation. You can politely say, "Get the f*** out of my lap please." You don't have to let them do what they want just to save face.
I just hate dating. This sucks. You never know the person you make the commitment to until later down the relationship when you are already attached. Well I have no problems kicking them to the curb. I want what I want. if I can't get it, it's time to move on. Thank you for listening to my rant of the day.

Saying Goodbye

Well I have come to the painful conclusion it's time to let Jim go. I can not keep beating myself up about the past and my choices. I can not sit here and think there is a possibility that we will be together. He lives in North Carolina. I'm here in Ohio. He hasn't even tried to keep good contact with me. Even after I sent him messages, the conversations have been dropped. I don't I want to be with someone who doesn't want to make the effort. I love myself more than that and I deserve better.
I can't dwell in the past when there are so many possibilities in the future. So I wrote him a goodbye letter on my computer to relieve some of the things I would like to say to him, but if I did he would think I'm crazy. I will keep it tucked away and never look at it again. For I will cry my last tears over "The One That Got Away" and I will hold my head up high and press on. For life is too short and too precious to stay still. Not to mention, I don't want to carry this baggage with me when someone wonderful comes along. They don't need that burden. I need to give myself completely and not think about him anymore. His chapter is closed for good. Goodbye Jim. I wish you a happy life, good health, and above all, love. Goodbye....

You have Got to be Kidding Me?!

SO Jack, the younger gentleman,and I have been unofficially dating. Well I finally told the "nice guy" about us seeing each other. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that he was going to be upset. I actually counted on it. I tried really hard to make this as easy as possible, but I didn't account for this type of reaction.
He proceeded to only make comments about himself. "Oh this keeps happening to me. Oh woe is me. I'm use to another man charming people away from me, etc..." Never once did he say to me, "I just want you to be happy." Even after I went on and on about I want him to be okay. I don't want this to hinder our friendship. I care about you. I'm worried about you. He did not say anything. Then he tells Jack not to bring me around if he's there. HELLO!! We have the same friends. Who are you to dictate my relationship!? What a selfish little boy! I never once said that what we had was going to amount to anything. I said this is just for fun. It is not my fault that he decided to fall. Not my problem. I tried so hard to make sure that he was okay. What do I get in return? Nothing. Not even a thanks for being honest with me. Oh he did say good luck. What the hell is that suppose to mean?
Sorry for the rant. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me.