After spending an interesting night with the so called"bad boy", I have finally got a taste of what that relationship would be like. I was helping him with work. I went to get food for us and finally ended the night watching T.V. and passing out. Now this doesn't sound like any type of night that would define where this relationship goes, but you have to look closely, really closely.
Well when I arrived, there was no greeting. No recollection of him even excited to see me. Okay I'm not going to knit pick, but to me it's kind of important for you to show me that my efforts are noted. I didn't even get a kiss.
Then once work came to an end, I had to finally say something about food and on top of that, I had to go alone and get it. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a big girl who can go get food by myself, but why was it my idea? Why did I have to worry about us? Also, I finally got a kiss...when I asked for it for all of the hard work I did. Hello problem. This is becoming a little too one sided for my liking.
So maybe you're thinking, "well this is the part where you leave him and pick the "good guy." Well you would be wrong. Even the good guy has his flaws. He's very attentive, kind, sweet and always trying to take care of me. The down side is he has a lot of growing to do. He needs to figure out what he wants for himself out life. He is not in any shape to put me before his needs.
When I got divorced, I made a vow to myself I would rather be single than get back in that type of enabling relationship. I want someone who will take care of me and my needs. Then in return I would take care of him. So far I haven't found that. It doesn't make me feel sad. I really don't want commitment at this point in life.
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